Me, An Obsessive Compulsive? - You know, I just might be!
The last six weeks have been a journey of discovery. Not, as you might imagine, because I am currently covering much of the domestic duty of my mother (for anyone who hasn't read Diary of a Reluctant Domestic Goddess, my Mum managed to break her ankle five days before Christmas). Contrary to popular perception (you know who you are!) I do know how to iron, to do laundry, and yes, even darn socks and sew on buttons. No, my discovery is that I am every bit as capable as the next woman (or man), of becoming a whirling dervish of domestic duties.
It's been a rude awakening for someone who reckons she's quite laid back when it comes to domestic matters. Others, of course, would say I'm messy and disorganised, although I rarely ever misplace anything (I'm touching a great big lump of wood here …) but I know that my idea of acceptable tidiness is a long way short of many people I know. I rarely worry whether a favourite jumper has gone through the wash yet because I have others. Yes, I may have more clothes than TopShop, I'm afraid, but I like clothes … and at least it means I'm seldom in a hurry for a particular item to be back in the wardrobe. Anyway, the point is, I don't normally see the laundry as a massive big deal. As long as I've got enough clean knickers …
I've never understood my mum's strategy of washing several times a week to 'keep the pile down'. To me, you get a good load of washing. You do it all in one day, iron it the next, put it away and then get on with the more engaging things in your life until the following week. Simple. And so this is how I began my spell as chief laundress Chez Raggedy Ann. A few technical hiccups aside it, worked just fine. To begin with. But after a couple of weeks I began to notice the growing pile in the bottom of the laundry basket every time I went to put something in. And I mean 'notice'; obviously I knew it was there, but now I really noticed it and, I'm afraid to admit, mentally measured it a bit. People wear clothes, they get dirty, the clothes go in the laundry basket. I thought I'd be okay with that. It's inevitable. It happens. On washday (which I'd already shifted from Monday to Thursday, you deal with it. No problem.
But then I decided it would be a fabulously time-saving idea to sort the clothes in the basket - whites, coloureds, handwashing, mucky towels and so on - as they went in. That didn't last long - believe me it takes far too long and, when you're the only one doing it, it's impossible to keep in hand. But still, I was calm, and behaving quite normally. For me that's shutting the lid on it and forgetting about it until the last minute. It's a method that's served me well for most of my adult life. Messy cupboards, over-stuffed wardrobes, makeup bags and so on … if you can get the door/lid/zip fastened then you can forget about it until you absolutely have to deal with it. Now, I know some of you will be horrified at this admission. But at least I'm honest … okay I'm somewhat untidy and there's little excuse but, hey, I'm a writer, I'm entitled to be a bit quirky! And besides, with no kids to be an example for, I don't have to worry that I'm not setting the best one.
But it's had a knock-on effect. I'm more than capable of doing several things at once. Working, keeping track of Sky News, stroking a cat, keeping up-to-date with Facebook & Twitter and so on, all at the same time. When it comes to domestic duties I prefer to concentrate on one thing at a time. But all of a sudden I'm finding myself whizzing all over the place picking things up, wiping things down, stacking, filling, pouring, feeding, baking and so on. I'm finding it impossible to sit down without worrying about what I'm not doing. Happily I haven't fallen into the appalling habit of watching daytime telly. Unless you count QVC, and I don't! After all, without good old QVC how would I have known about the 'Multi Hanger … an extendable and collapsible hanger with carry handles'. What? It's a practical and space-saving tool for every home that acts as a clothes horse with room for up to 33 hangers and I just know it's going to transform my laundry experience! I can't personally vouch for it yet, since it went missing in the post several weeks ago and I'm still waiting for its replacement, but still …
But even an extra opportunity for retail therapy - if you can call buying domestic appliances therapy - isn't really easing my concern. I just don't feel like me. I've turned into this obsessive-compulsive that tuts at spills on napkins, checks tea towels daily for marks and smears and constantly asks if something needs washing. I've even heard myself say: 'I want to get a load of sweaters done this week'. Seriously, I'm getting scared! What if I never regain my natural languor? What if, having filled in for so many weeks, I'm now trapped in a cycle of hurrying to finish things? I miss those days of having no sense of urgency. What if they're gone for good?
Of course, the problem is, I fear I'm turning into my mother. In many ways this is no bad thing. She's lovely, caring, efficient, clever, and pretty – but none of those things are really me – well hopefully the caring bit, but otherwise? I just don't 'do' domestic efficiency. I know I should be happy that I've acquired new skills, or at least re-learned rusty ones, but in reality I know I'm behaving this way purely because that's the way mum does it. I tried to resist, I really did. I tried to do things at my pace, to fit it to my own schedule but I discovered that I just didn't have the time – at least not if I wanted to get to bed before midnight and stay there until morning. It's certainly given me a new understanding of my mother. Not of the hard work she normally does – I already knew it was tough, but I've started to understand why she keeps doing the laundry in little batches. She knows that she can never catch up, but wants to maintain the illusion.Even if only just for a little while. I get it, I really do. Am I ready to follow suit? I don't think so. For me, I think I'll revert to my old ways, at least for now. Much easier just to drop the lid on the laundry basket and forget about it until Thursday …