We've all been there - we've been ill and, although we are somewhat recovered, we still look like a zombie. I'm sure this doesn't just happen to the palest amongst us. And, because we feel that bit better we want to go out and about. Well, perhaps we don't want to, but we have to. Let's be honest none of us have the time to wait until our skin has regained its bloom, or our nose has lost its Rudolph hue and those pesky lurgy-induced spots have faded into oblivion. And sometimes, recovered or not, we have to brave the rest of the population.  So we have to learn to be clever and disguise the worst of our afflictions. And, believe us, when we say that we know a lot about this subject, we are telling the truth. We are the types to catch just about every bug going, so we have spent countless days trying to cover up a multitude of buggy sins. We know of what we write.

Here, then, are Raggedy Ann Girl secrets for faking 'wellness'. But before we do, let's be honest about it – if you are covered in chicken pox or have a streaming cold, for example, you are never going to look like a perfectly healthy soul. But that isn't the point, we're talking about restoring some of your visual equilibrium, not creating a work of art. If your expectations tend towards the unrealistic, stop reading now. Go and find one of our Red Carpet features and don't dare to look in the mirror. And don't say you weren't warned.

Because our first tip is not to try to go for too much colour. Please try to avoid bright lipstick, or eyeshadow and too much makeup generally. Far better to fake a bloom of health than to try to recreate a Vegas showgirl on this occasion.

Then make sure your skin is well moisturised before you even think about touching it with any makeup products. Let it sink in and make sure you have eradicated all those horrible flaky bits. Try using a cooling eye gel to calm down puffiness (we've used the Body Shop Elderflower Eye Gel for years). Then use a makeup primer. Choose something gentle and soothing and apply it evenly.

Now you can go to work with your concealer. We love Laura Geller's Dream Cream concealer palette (available from QVC UK). It's easy to apply, doesn't dry to a powdery finish and is properly full coverage. It is fantastic at eradicating dark circles, minimising the appearance of puffiness and melting away nasty red spots, or over rosy cheeks. And it stays in place and rarely needs touching up.

You might find that you don't need any further coverage, but if you do then opt for a light and sheer skin tint, or a dusting of mineral powder. Keeping it light at least makes it look like you don't have much to hide! And that concealer should have done most of the camouflaging anyway.

If you are ill, you aren't going to feel much like plucking eyebrows, so just brush them into shape, colour them in softly, if necessary, to hide any patches, and then use a grooming product like a gel or clear mascara to keep them in place. 

Don't bother with fancy colours or shading of eyelids, instead just worry about covering up those purplish-grey eyelids with a natural-toned eyeshadow. We love to use Bobbi Brown's Bone eyeshadow. If you really feel you need eyeliner – and liner can be a wonderfully effective disguise for puffy eyelids –  then try a dark brown since it's much more forgiving than black. As for mascara, well perhaps this is not the time for full on fakery, we prefer either to use a gentle lengthening formulation like New CID i-Flutter or a tint like Jemma Kidd's Semi-Permanent Lash Tint (although make sure you aren't likely to sneeze when you apply it since it will take an age to remove any black spots  peppered on your cheek or lid from still-wet flying lashes!

For lips we prefer to stick either to a tinted balm like Fresh Sugar Lip Treatment in Rose, or a natural colour like Bobbi Brown Uber Pink or Benefit Private Nude. 

As you might expect, when you've been feeling under the weather blush is particularly important. But perhaps it's best to stay away from strong pinks (you've just spent ages trying to disguise all that red). Instead try a very soft pink or a gentle peachy coral like Bobbi Brown's  Nude Peach.

If you feel that you really need a touch of warmth (and we generally stay away from any type of proper bronzer anyway) try to use a soft. subtle and gentle 'bronzing' product. The only such product we let anywhere near our very pale complexions is Laura Geller Tahitian Glow which you can use on the face and body for nicely warming effect.

Now you're just about ready to face the world. Take a deep breath, smile and take it easy - remember you're poorly …